Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Yeah ok I tried to do this but I'll be honest: Fallout New Vegas just dropped yesterday and I am just not feeling this tonight. I mean I'm watching it and whatever but I dunno, apparently I'm just not hilarious tonight. At this point I have more excuse posts than episode commentary posts so uhhhh

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

OK Blogazoids, I think we got this computer ish under control or at least kind of. Anyway, conveyor belt, casey wins, lexie a stoner bitch who dead (or at least not on the show anymore!!). Can you believe Ann got top photo again? Of course I can, the producers made that decision long ago!! Theme song! Cat makin' faces at me! We're already in full effect. I'm glad Tyra is doing the recaps like she my homegirl, but its also very weird. Which one is Kayla?!? I mean, standard hardluck, but I thought that was Liz' shit. Ann, don't feel weird, you got this shit on luck. You've basically won. Anyway, Sorry doll because you're actually both. It's commercial night it looks like, the very worst of them all if you don't enjoy douche chills. Ann with a Sandwich picture, I love you. I've come to realization over the course of this episode that I don't really have a favorite. Either its a lousy b-dogger that I hate, or a girl I'm kind of indifferent to, or some blankzo I forget from week to week. Ah, Walmart, the home of couture. Anyway, I don't really know how to feel about this cycle at this point, since I ain't got no one to root for. Ann is cheap because its a sure bet and I dunno, she looks like a missing member of the sort of people I hang out with but I'm just not crazy about her. This is episode, incidentally, is mega-ann centric thus far, so I worry that she's either gone or hitting the fiver which has to be an antm record. Anyway, this challenge is pretty consistent with the useless stupid don't-apply-in-real-life challenge standard set in this show. But I mean, its pretty much a game show so I don't know why I'm bitching about it. Chris has a click-click-click-flash moment for the first time since episode one. The girls get debriefed and find out it was a "The Others"-esque manipulation of reality. They were being monitored and judged and smoke monstered the entire time. Then, you know, whatever commercials you get. Maybe not the same as mine. It's not my jurisdiction so I'm just going type my way through this about what-the-fuck-ever. I'm still trying to settle on an overall format for this shit, so the three of you shouldn't count on any consistency for at least this cycle. People at my work keep saying to use pictures but that's where I draw the line, effort-wise.

Man, what a shitty challenge. If people ever had to hear what I say about them in that sort of situations. Well, it would be rough times. On the same note, I really don't care what a bunch of idiots in a crowd think. this is asinine. I can't be catty about these people either, so really its just dead air. Nigel is rubbing his hands like a villain/sex criminal for no real reason. Nigel stops everything to be a dick to Ann and then announces loud-mouth-ass Kacey to win. Liz raises some excellent points about realness. And now Wal-mart shopping spree. WHOOOO!
Sorry, ,you won't be america's next top model. No one freaks out for the wal-mart gift card. Sorry wal-mart. Sherry Goldstein is here to fill in for that other girl with the absurd nose from a couple cycles ago. I'm really resisting an urge to make a tremendously inappropriate joke about Esther and Pyramids (not a titty joke though!). A mush-mouth mummy who every tells me is very important is the hook for this challenge. The camera can't keep up with Mr. J's call-outs for the pairings which bums me out in a weird way. Chelsey has been the new Liz this episode. Seriously girl shut up and take ya medicine. Com-mmm-ersh ti-ime

Anyway, I sort of missed part of this but I saw Tyra run out and show one of them how to do it and I feel like Tyra could shit in a baseball cap and everyone would act like she created the earth. The getup is ridiculous, btdubbz. Mr J turns into a regular Nigel Barker when male models are afoot. Chelsey is fucking complaining about everything. BIG SURPRISE. This episode is pretty rough to watch, just because its giving me all the elements of judge shittiness that I hate the most. Kendal is so damned cute. She's still my favorite. Ignore everything I said before. She did great and I hope she's the streak breaker after the Ann dynasty.

Panel time!

Liz and Kendal - Solid picture, I don't have anything too snarky to say.
- Kendal - come on girl, this is your night.
- Liz - That looks like a shitty catalog picture. I hate that they spent the whole episode building up Liz' real-talk for a reason.

Esther and Kayla - Esther, you lookin' good. Kayla, you're gross, go home.
- Esther - Yeah, pretty alright.
- Kayla - Eat garbage. At home.

Jane and Kacey - Super disjointed picture. Kacey tried to take control and ruined it for everyone.
- Jane - Boresville
- Kacey - Snoresville

Ann and Chelsey - This is the best group shot, for sure. That male model though, holy shit. Cool face, bro. Tyra don't imitate Ann's frankenstein walk, it's rude.
- Ann - Hell of good picture, but I don't want you to win this one.
- Chelsey - Another good one, but I don't really like you so, seriously. Let's let Kendal have this one. Ooh. Negative points on the face there though.

Chris and no one - click-click-click-flash, Talley is right though, mega boring.
- Chris - Boring, Bad face, but not so bad that she's at any risk of going home.

Commercials and Commericals - long, boring

I thought we saw all the pictures, now they're doing these portrait-y ones ,and I just don't care. Esther got elf ears. She a elf. Whatever. I got nothin'. Kayla is going the fuck home. I'm calling it long afterthe fact. Jane looks like a russian bride. It seems like the reign of Ann is almost over. There's a teen vogue?!? OH BULLSHIT THAT IS DOGSHIT. This should have been Kendal or even damn Esther's. I figured Chelsey would be bottom two for the amount of time they spent on her, but I guess its Kacey vs. Kayla in a battle of the barf. My wife accurately called Kacey as the home-goer despite my fervent hopes that it would be Kayla. I mean, its a win either way, but damn that girl was gettin' on my nerves. Another wednesday, another Top Model, another Top Bloggle. Good night, gang~! I'll proofread it tommorow

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Cycle 15, Episode 5 - Bad News Bears

Alright I know all three of you are dying to read about how shitty I am towards a bunch of girls I don't know but my computer shit the ghost and I think its probably OK now but heavens I am too worked up to do any meaningful kind of Bloggling tonight. Sorry gang. I am going to try to do it pretty soon (Maybe.) Anyway, I will say this, Liz' picture was the best but I still stand by my assertion that Liz the Snizz is a great mean nickname. Oh, and it's total horse apples that Ann won again, and also if you refer to your pvr you may note that the girls in the bottom two are incidentally the two rocking the dowdiest waistlines. Lexie, based on how you handled your exit I think we would get along, because we are both total shitty bitches.