Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Cycle 15, Episode 4 - Episode 3 if you consider the Bloggle canon

Hey gang, PVR tellin' me they have to pose on a roller coaster this week. They are really strapped for ideas or just dicks at this point. I can't decide. Lexie starts us off looking stoned, then it cuts to her in the past looking stoned. Also, deaditorial. The girls get in a brawl and settle it by bitching about Ann. Liz is a bitch and I feel betrayed because she was supposed to be my cyberpunk manface megababe. BOY PARTY!! It's been a couple seasons since they got on that shit. I hope this becomes the shitstorm it will become. Kendal's thoughts on semen necessitate the opinion that any (awkward) flirtation is heavy flirtation. But come on, the fella looked like Jay-Z (not racist!!)! The girls head to Knott's Berry Farm because they're both on the same tier and we get to hear the girls bellyache about it. Whoever turns out to be a roller coaster maniac will be my new favorite. Liz photobombs her own photo and the edgy girl looked edgy in the vein of a costumed villain named the Boffo Baffler. I can't even make fun of the girls' faces in this one without dipping into video games and comics. That's how bad it is; So bad I have to alienate my (hypothetical) readership. Commercial break!

Chris went toters hood about roller coasters. Chris doesn't keep her composure but man I don't blame her. Personally I like roller coasters but there was a time in my life when I would rather lose any opportunity than get on a roller coaster so it's kind of a shitty to force that on people. Every girl looked awful, most of them looked ghoulish. Rough Times. Kayla looked like a lich. Real Talk. Nigel is a total horsedick this cycle, it's really getting my goat, if you must know. Tyra has a magazine about her fat (but fit) ass. Cool. Anyway, Tyra gets creepy and turns Liz into a Tymonculus (see I can make up words too Ty-Ty). I get every impression that hanging out with Tyra Banks is like hanging out with a wild dog. You just never know what she's going to do. Maybe it's Tea. Maybe it's get criticized for being too sexy while she pounds carrot bread down her tract (I totally am not trying to be mean like that but if you just eat like a maniac I am going to call you on that.) Two confrontations in one episode this might be a Top Model record. I don't know! I haven't seen it all! So anyway, The one girl makes some pretty good points about the nature of competition and its commercial time!!

Mr. J is milking the suspense. OH its Matthew Ralston! That's cool! I guess! So basically he's involved in the whole process by pointing out flaws with sorority girl precision. Kendal is so damned adorable. Maybe Kendal just gets sad in the club?? Don't judge guys. Esther looks like a giant boobed corpse in hers. Everyone is getting nasty on the judge side of things. Lexie's experience baffled me because weed usually makes you less nauseous so I dunno why she had such a rough time of it. Rhianna has a crush on Ann~! Good tiny smile though. So, I guess I always forget between cycles but what is the deal with the skull and crossbones from her fake-o TV e-mails? Someone please get back to me on this.

Back from commercial and Tyra teased up her hair and got crazy for everyone's turn in front of the jerk squad.
Kacey: Pretty decent but I like all the ones with octopus arms.
Kayla: Look-a Like-a Lamprey.
Esther: Good looking for a dead girl.
Ann: I don't think this is very good but naturally the judges loved it because they colluded on that.
Chris: Tite gurl, Tite.
Jane: I don't even remember you from the one shot of you to the next. Her picture makes her look like a stout Kristen Bell.
Lexie: Not a terrible picture but I guess earlier we established she was sober.
Rhianna: Yeah, well.
Kendal: I like it a lot but I don't have high hopes for her making it.
Liz: Rough times. It's like two degrees off from a good picture. But the judges rip her apart. See you later, Liz.

I don't have really a lot to say about the judging portion. Tyra accin' crazy. Same ol'. Nigel is keeping his dumb mouth shut for once. Ralston compares Kendal to candy, and honestly you guys he's seriously creeping me out. Judgeasaurus Times; 11 girls, 10 photos. It feels like its going pretty fast this season. Ann fucking wins again. It should have gone to Kendal or Esther this episode, RUDE TITTIES ASIDE, and I will fight for that to my last breath. Or until I forget. So until I go to sleep and wake up again. I don't think Rhianna deserved bottom two but I think Liz needs to go. The judges are on drugs this cycle. That is Dog Shit. Liz has been sucking all day and all night and Rhianna has pretty much been middle of the pack and I just don't think it was her time yet. Especially not when its between her and Liz the Snizz. Fuck this show. I'm out.

1 comment:

  1. naw mang I think Rihanna was due, although I would have been just as content with Liz gone too. Lol and Ann totally pulled a mad Golem vs schmegal pose on that roller coaster. lol